Random musings of a madman

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There`s nothing any of us can do about it.It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes.

You know how people say you can't live without love? Well, oxygen's even more important.You'd be surprised what you can live without.If you're not prepared to look stupid, nothing great is ever gonna happen.

Udaan

The Lesson of a moth

i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity

but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

-
        

-- Don Marquis

Never Judge a Book by its cover

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President’s outer office.The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn’t even deserve to be in Cambridge.

“We’d like to see the president,” the man said softly.

“He’ll be busy all day,” the secretary snapped.

“We’ll wait,” the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.

They didn’t, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.

“Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they’ll leave,” she said to him!

He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn’t have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, “We had a son who attended Harvard for one year.

He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.”

The president wasn’t touched. He was shocked.

“Madam,” he said, gruffly, “we can’t put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died.. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.”

“Oh, no,” the lady explained quickly. “We don’t want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.”

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, “A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.”

For a moment the lady was silent.

The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now.

The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, “Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don’t we just start our own?”

Her husband nodded. The president’s face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.

- A true story by Malcolm Forbes

Somewhere in my broken heart

A really nice song by Billy Dean ... especially the lyrics ..

You made up your mind
It was time it was over
After we had come so far.
I think there's enough pieces
Of forgiveness
Somewhere in my broken heart.

I would not have chosen
The road you have taken,
It has left us miles apart.
I think I can still find
The will to keep going,
Somewhere in my broken heart.

So goodbye, go ahead and fight it
Till you find out who you are,
And I, I will keep my love unspoken
Somewhere in my broken heart.

I hope that in time you will find
What you long for,
Love that's writen in the stars.
When you finally do,
I think you will see it
Somewhere in my broken heart.

Girl, I, I will keep my love unspoken
Somewhere in my broken heart.

Americans :P

This story is an ‘alleged’ transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian maritime contact off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The tale, in various versions and featuring different nationalities, has circulated widely in emails and in books for many years, and has been used by numerous speakers and writers to illustrate lessons relating to negotiation, making assumptions, and related themes. Unfortunately it is not true, but it is nevertheless a great story.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees South to avoid collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US navy ship; I say again divert your course.”

Canadians: ”No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “We are a lighthouse; your call.”

Granny in court :D

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’

She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair!’

Presence of Mind

In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The Sales person, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg.

So the boy went inside to the manager’s room and said “An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter”.

To his surprise, the customer was standing behind him. So the boy added immediately, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!”

After the customer left, the manager said “You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?”

To this the boy said, “I come from Mexico. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!”

The manager replied coldly, “My wife is also from Mexico.”

To this the boy asked excitedly, “Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?”

Moral of the story : Believe in your presence of mind and never panic!!